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I <3 Mom
By David Brown | May 11, 2008
Well I’ve never done one of these before! But with the world turning social and all web2.0ish I figured what better way this year to say Happy Mothers Day to one very special Mom! MY MOM
So what to say about Mom on this hyped up over marketed holiday? (just kidding) Well first let me introduce you to her - Mom is really Joan Lanning (used to be Joan Brown for 25 yrs… but that’s a whole different story) As a professional Esthetician Joan is one of the leading eyebrow / lips / & eye women in the Northern hemisphere! She has owned and operated Advanced Electrolysis & Aesthetics in Spokane for 10+ years now. While I know she has famous clients (some super famous and some have actually become my clients down the road) ***Thanks Ma! She unfortunately can’t brag about them and I’ve been sworn to secrecy!
Or should I say threatened? I believe it was referred to as a 96th trimester abortion! Did I mention that my Mom is who I get my warped sense of humor from? That’s what I love most about my Mom she can always put a smile on my face… So quick story I suppose -
One night when Mom knew that Russ and I were sneaking in drunk, way past curfew… she waited in the shadow’s for us to fall asleep. (We had a big Volleyball tournament the next morning, but as reigning state champs we usually won these tourney’s no problem!) so Mom sneaking in while we’re asleep pulls off our socks and paints not only MY toes bright PINK… but also Russ’ toes! So the next morning, as we’re trying to drag ass out of bed… a trip to the bathroom to relieve much of what our kidney’s and Liver was able to process in our sleep 
I noticed Bright Pink toes staring back up at me! The first thought was ‘what the hell did I do last night’ then…. Russ that lil shit is messing with me! So I figured I’d go back to Mom & Dad’s bathroom to grab some fingernail polish remover and remedy this situation quickly… only to find a note on an empty bottle of polish remover from Mom that read something like this:
Sorry we’re all out of fingernail polish remover - I’ll pick some up while I’m at the store… I don’t think I’ll make it back before you have to leave for your tourney today so good luck and remember curfew!
Just as I finish reading this gem I hear Russ yelling & screaming at the other end of the house! He too thought I had pranked him… till I showed him the note and both of our hung over asses were stumped! We went to our tourney, we played… we won another trophy… but we STUNK to high hell (the only tourney where we wouldn’t hit the showers w/ the rest of the guys)
So needless to say Mom has always been able to handle life’s little lessons with a bit of pizazz… That is why this Mothers day I would like to say THANK YOU MOM, I LOVE YOU! You’ve always been there for me and I will always be there for you…. unless of course you start getting really annoying then it’s off to the budget old folks home!
If you have a minute you might want to give this a listen - If you go to the eBaumsworld.com soundboards and check out the Judge Judy sound board this is what I used to crank call Mom a few yrs ago… Yes she’s heard it, laughed, and even pointed out the fact that she ‘out no, no, no, no, no’d Judge Judy’ NSFW as I just listened to it and realized Ma dropped the F’bomb once… Thanks for being a GREAT Sport Mom and for teaching me to be a prankster too! I <3 U
Almost forgot…I should also mention that she’s part owner of Lanning Log Homes (Premiere Log Homes) (for you SEO’s reading I had to link drop both sites… you understand, being Mother’s Day and all)
And today marks 10yrs of being a Dad to the most wonderful little girl any father could ever want! Ashley Eden Brown turns 10 years old today 
I love you little girl! *we celebrated last weekend since she gets to be w/ her Mom today -
Alright now I know this is a bit sappy for a big guy… don’t let the smile fool ya… I’m a tooth chipper 
DB
Topics: Personal |
May 21st, 2008 at 3:29 pm
So sweet. I found myself wondering the other day if I will have to pull the pink toenail trick on any of my boys in the future.